So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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