i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
