Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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