I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
