i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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