Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
