Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
