It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
