member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
