hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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