Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
