He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.