Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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