I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot