I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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