four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize