Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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