Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
