I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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