My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We're too hungover to prance.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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