So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
