just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
