Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
