fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
