i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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