there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
