my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
