Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
