His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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