did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize