U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
