yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Who died my cat blue again?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
