Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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