dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
