just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And then my night got REAL pukey
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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