If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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