I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
