Just took my morning after pill in the library
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
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Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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