The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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