I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
