she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
