So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
not ubering you a puppy
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
