I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
