At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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