I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
