There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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