My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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