what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
