i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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