So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize