Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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