Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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