I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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