why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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